Black and White and Shades of Gray
by nowayitsmaggie
Summary: Because, all of a sudden, right and wrong aren't quite as back and white as they used to be. Requested by Bunnie.


i. Alice knows that difference between right and wrong.

Wrong is Remus, who pulls her on his lap and plays with her hair and tells her stories and makes her feel content, but not happy.

_(And she can feel Sirius and Issy's poison-laced stares from across the room, and they make her sick)_

She knows that right is Sirius, who catches her arm and demands to know what the hell she thinks she's doing and that he might love her, dammit it all, and she needs to see reason. Right is Sirius's kiss before she turns away, muttering excuses about homework and sleep.

_(Because she feels like she's choking on broken glass whenever he touches her now)  
_  
She knows that she should stop walkng this very fine line between friends and not friends and stay the hell away from Remus, because Issy looks like she might kill her.

_(But Issy's got Kirby now, so she can deal with it)  
_  
And all of a sudden, she can't tell the difference, because all of a sudden, right and wrong isn't as black and white as it was before.

_(Or maybe it never has been as black and white as she thought it was)_

ii. Remus knows that he's using Alice. He knows that using Alice to get to Issy is wrong.

_(But all of a sudden, Alice isn't just Alice anymore)  
_  
He knows that when he sees Alice leaving the library, red eyed and pale, that he should stop her and ask her what's wrong and maybe tell her that he's sorry.

_(But he's not sorry, so why should he apologize)_

He can tell that it's hurting Issy, even though she's with Kirby, and he can tell that Sirius is hurting, too.

_(He doesn't know if he can take any more of Sirius's steely eyed glares and silences in the dorms anymore)  
_  
He can see that he's made things spin out of his control, and that they're on a crash course for disaster. He knows that he shouldn't follow Alice down the corridor, and catch her wrist and turn her to face him, even though her shoulders have stiffened. He knows that maybe he should ask what's wrong.

_(He knows that he probably shouldn't kiss her like he suddenly wants to)_

He knows that she's shutting herself off from all of them, because she can't take it anymore, and the guilt floods through him. He knows that he shouldn't drop her wrist like he's been burned and let her go, even though that's very clearly what she wants.

_(Even though everything he does seems to be wrong now, letting her go feels right. Not that he can tell the difference.)_

iii. Sirius doesn't know what to do. Remus might have let things get too far out of hand, but, if anything, Sirius knows that he encouraged him.

_(But when he said to go after Issy and make her jealous, he didn't mean that Remus should use his girl to do it)_

He knows that he shouldn't let Alice go like he does. If she wants Remus, fine, she wants Remus.

_(Even though he really wants her back, which he'll never admit)_

He honestly thinks he's doing the right thing, even though he can't decide what's right and wrong anymore.

_(The lines have blurred too much for that, at least recently they have)_

All he can think about suddenly is HER, and everything that SHE does, and how this isn't normal.

_(James and Peter can't figure it out. But then again, they both have their own girls to worry about now)  
_  
Maybe, suddenly, all the friendships and all of the people and where they stand aren't so clear cut anymore. Maybe he should leave well enough alone.

_(Even though he doesn't want to.)_

iv. Issy, shockingly enough, is very good at pretending to be alright with the entire thing. Remus was never hers, Alice is still her best friend, even if the entire thing's a mess now.

_(Even if her friends don't want it, she's going to heold them together, come hell or high water)_

Poor Kirby just looks confused. He looks how she feels, like he doesn't know where any of them stand.

_(Issy knows that Kirby feels right to her, like she wants him with her, even as they're falling apart)  
_  
Remus and Alice don't look very happy. Not like they used to.

_(And maybe she's a little bit happy that it won't work out)  
_  
Alice is all red rimmed blue eyes and fake, plastic smiles. And Remus is just relying more heavily upon his musty book to get away from the mess he's created.

_(Sometimes, Issy wants to slap the both of them and ask if they realize what they've done)_

All of a sudden, she doesn't know how they've gotten here, and the cold realization hit her that they're probably never going to be the same, just because of a few strupid mistakes.

_(And she honestly thought that they were always going to be friends, until the day they died)_

And since right and wrong don't seem to apply to anyone or make sense anymore, maybe forever doesn't either.

_(Or maybe it's just her that still wants forever.)_


End file.
